~~Is knowing or not knowing the true reality of a situation? People go through their everyday lives not knowing a lot of stuff and are usually the better for it. That is their reality, however confusing and not up to par it may be. And then there are those times when you find out something that maybe you shouldn't have known that throws your world in a complete spiral. Then that becomes your reality. But can we pick and choose which one we'd rather believe? We choose everything else. What we want to eat, what we want to watch on tv, where we want to go. Why can't we choose our reality? I wish that option was available to us, because believe me, my life would be a lot less complicated if I did get to choose. Granted, some things we NEED to hear and other things are "luxuries". Even though these other things are not very luxurious at all.
~~I want a time machine. The end.
~~That break that I so desperately needed from someone begins now. We, as friends, are on good terms. Me, as a person so in liking of this person, is a "make you fall to your knees crying" sort of situation. When did I lose the power, huh? I mean, its too late now. It's gone and I pray to God that one day I'll get it back...or at least share it. But today is not the day unfortunately. And I'm trying something new with old but new people and my heart is not in it. Maybe it isn't because it shouldn't be. Maybe it's not because I am, in fact, hung up on someone else. Who knows? I don't know if I really want to find out. I'm at a point now where I don't know if I WANT to be single or NEED to be single.
~~I'm making a change. I am stopping. I'm stopping this whole fucked up relationship. I'm stopping smoking (gradually). I am going to start over and enjoy life and myself. I'm going to stop worrying about stupid stuff and start living life like it needs to be lived. Harmoniously!