and then there were none...

what i don't really understand and understand completely all at the same time is how people can treat people/friends/whatever so horribly sometimes, knowing that this person/friend/whatever could, in a heartbeat, be gone from your life forever. friends or people that i know who have died recently, weren't old people aka. people you assume will die soon. these people have been the same age as me or at least close to it. this just proves that, as inevitable as death is, it is also just as unpredictable. why would we want to spend our time and breath on fighting or bickering or generally just disliking someone when we could spend just as much time and energy loving them and making life as nice and amazing for them as possible. you just never know when people are going to dissappear from your life and you really need to cherish these people and learn to forgive and forget while you have the opportunity. i know the last thing anyone wants to be doing after someone's death is beating themselves up because they regret never saying "i'm sorry". or wondering whether or not they could have done something different or better. for crying out loud JUST DO IT!!! be the difference NOW! don't wait, because waiting accomplishes nothing. i guess all i'm trying to say is love as much as you can and as many people as you can, because God gave us the ability to love for a reason.

...the ending to my beginning

so, this summer is already over and as much as i am absolutely stoked to be going back to columbus tomorrow, i am equally just as sad to be leaving behind a wonderful eventful summer. people i never would have thought i'd be friends with are the people who are the nearest and dearest and the people i will miss so much. and yes, i'll even miss Boy oddly enough.
goodbye summer, hello school year!

...the kind you take home

I am one of those girls you take home to mom,
yet my actions and behavior I fear are counteracting that.
The way I let guys use me,
blinded by their intentions until its too late.
I want to be the girl guys bring home to their mom.
Always.
Not just for some guys,
but good enough for all guys.
From now on I will be
that girl.

i can hear the bells...

so everyone and their mother is getting married...
one part of me longs for that...
the other part?...
HA!

just some randomness

8/5/08 (Sometime, somewhere in my car)

-The weight of my past is oppressing.
I'm breaking beneath it's pressure.
I thought I was stronger than it.
Having to constantly drag it with me.
Shackled to it, link by link.
I need to break free, or it very well
may be my destruction.

Now, on to today...

I finally got my tires changed, thank goodness! I can stop worrying and wondering when my tire is gonna blow. I got to spend a little time with my dad, who tried to convince me on the ride to Walmart AND back to audition for American Idol. Most of the time I spent laughing at this idea. HA! Later on, after the tire, I had dinner with the fam which was nice then I made a comment about my aunt. I asked her about her two dogs, Sake and Chablis, who have been part of the family for years. I mean, I absolutely adored them. Come to find out, they both got put to sleep because they were just too darn old to live anymore. Chablis went first then Sake about 2 weeks later. And I just wished that they would have called me about Sake. At least given me the opportunity to come and see her before she went. Sake was my favorite. The one I identified most with, if that's even possible. I loved her so much because she loved me, simply, and without any questions. It didn't matter how cool (or, let's face it, how uncool) I was in middle school (or, let's face it, high school), Sake loved me for me! I know I sound like a total nutcase right now. I mean, I'm talking about a DOG! But I really loved her. It's funny how no matter how long I'd be gone (and I'm talking months), she'd always know exactly who I was when I'd return. And she'd always sleep with me, right behind my knees where they bent. Anyways, I pretty much cried all the way home. Oh, and yes, I loved Chablis too, but she was so prissy and always snapped at me.

oh sweet accomplishment!

today probably has been one of the most productive days i've had all summer. i mean, yes, i do go to work and get stuff done there, but as far as personal productive days, i've had none. BUT, today, i woke up with a twinkle in my eye and a will to get things done! so, even though what i'm about to list as my accomplishments probably seem trivial and insignificant to most, these are milestones (yes, milestones baby!) to me!

Things I Did TODAY!!:
-woke up at a decent hour (ha!)
-paid like 3 different bills (columbia house, cell phone, car insurance)
-tried to donate blood (damn low iron)
-cleaned out my car (...nasty)
-washed my car (vacuumed and lathered that bad boy up!)
-and to top that shiz off, i even bought a car freshener and sani-wipes (hoo yeh!)

and THAT was my super productive day!

p.s. i bought new towels for my dorm room : )

Yesh!!

i was, surprisingly, in a good mood today at work. i don't know what it was, but i didn't have to urge to punch someone, not even once! i don't ask questions, i just just thank God. honestly though, it's not even the job that frustrates me. i just tend to get a little antsy at the end of things (this being the end of summer). i am just super ready to go back to columbus and be with my friends and just get back into the routine that i have. 12 more days!!!