down...foot...mine

Let me preface by saying that I had an absolutely AMAZING time in Columbus this weekend. I adored seeing all of my wonderful friends.

HOWEVER:

I am tired and exhausted and fed-up and just thoroughly pissed that I let myself get walked on and pushed around by a certain someone. He snaps his fingers and I come a-runnning and that is so very pathetic of me. I am putting my foot down. I'm exclaming my freedom from *his controlling nature. That's all it is. It isn't about emotions, except for maybe the ones that pour from me when I have nothing to think about and lots of alone time. It isn't about the physicality of it, though I did think it was about that. Oh, no, it's about the whole control aspect. *He is controlling me and how I think and feel and he knows he can get what he wants when he wants it and I AM FED UP!!!! *He can't anymore, I won't let him. *He can go fuck off for all I care. I've done a lot of thinking (I had a good 5 hour ride back to Camden) and I know in my very being that I never want to date him again...I never want to be his friend. *He doesn't deserve anything, ANYTHING, I have to offer. *He is nowhere near being worthy and I am so happy that I have finally come to my senses and realized this. I am happy that I can finally say this and actually mean it. In the past I'd say this, but in my heart, I would tell myself that that isn't true and that one day, we'd be together, either as a couple or as friends. HA! No more! I do have to thank *him for making me realize that I am through putting up with this bullshit and that I deserve someone 10 times better a person than he will ever, EVER EVER EVER be! THANK YOU to the asshole that toughened me up a little bit!